Letters To My Baby: 002

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Dear Harper,

Your two month birthday is just around the corner and wow, what an amazing two months it has been. Your dad and I are starting to get the hang of this parenting thing, at least we think so anyway. I’ve put together a list of things I hope to never forget about these early days with you. This will be an ever-growing list, I am sure of it, but here are some of my favorite things so far:

Let me never forget:

  • The warmth and weight of you while napping on my chest, and the way you liked to be folded up tight, like a little frog.
  • Your soft-as-down, fuzzy baby hair against my chin.
  • The hundreds (thousands) of kisses planted on your teeny head.
  • How slow you were to wake up some mornings before nursing and those big, big stretches and yawns.
  • How you’d grab onto my fingers with all your might because you were so mad that I dared change your diaper.
  • The first times you smiled – being on the receiving end of those smiles felt like winning the lottery, and something tells me that feeling will never, ever go away.

Your dad and I look forward to many more firsts and favorite times with you. You are our world, little girl.

I love you,

Mama

 

4 Weeks In

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4 weeks… somehow it’s already been 4 weeks since our little bean made her way into the world. 4 weeks that have been amazing, challenging, incredible, exhausting, and filled with growth for all three of us. I feel like I’m starting to fall into my new role as a mother and I love it beyond measure. There is still so much to learn, but I am ready to take in all I can.

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Your mom and dad love you so much, Harper Anne. Thank you for being you – perfect, beautiful, fascinating you.

Dear Pregnancy Body

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Dear Pregnancy Body,

Please know, first and foremost, I am grateful for you. I’m grateful for your ability to carry and nourish and support this little one, all while knowing what she needs – even when I feel like I don’t. You’ve done a great job of keeping her safe, well-fed, and growing like a weed. So, thank you. However, there are a few things we need to discuss:

  • What have you done with my calves? No, really, the bottom half of my legs can’t possibly belong to me. Truth be told, some most days I feel this way about the entire lower half of my body.
  • Dressing you is becoming a chore. I am uninspired and a few of my maternity options have reached maximum capacity, but heaven help me if you think I am buying anything for you at this stage in the game.
  • I have forgotten what it’s like to put on shoes in silence. Try as I might, I can no longer put on shoes that require tying or zipping without a grunt or an “Oh crap”. Birks with socks has crossed my mind more than once, but lucky for you all, I’m not there yet.
  • Waking up in the middle of the night to change sleeping positions is one of my least favorite parts of pregnancy. There are now multiple pillows to rearrange and nothing is simple when you feel as large and graceful as a walrus.
  • Online window shopping for non-maternity summer duds has become my new favorite form of torture. What will you look like a month or two postpartum, Pregnancy Body? I have no idea and part of me is not looking forward to finding out.
  • The discomfort seems to hit all at once and lasts the entire day. Why bother spacing out the back pain, hip pain, and constant need to pee? Are you just trying to see what I’m made of? On the flip side, the days when I am actually comfortable do not go unnoticed, so I beg of you, do not take them away.

But please, Pregnancy Body, do not feel bad for what you’ve put me through. It’s considerably less than most and I figure I have to go through a little (labor not included) before I get handed my mom card.

Additionally, there are some upsides to this pregnancy business (other than the ultimate prize at the end of it all).

  • There is currently little guilt associated with treating myself to ice cream (and pizza) on a more-frequent-than-normal basis. I do try to balance it out with lots of veggies and mixing chia seeds into anything that makes sense, I promise.
  • I get lost watching her kick and shift around, and as much I try to share/document the more noticeable movements, it really seems like she is saving those crazy somersaults and karate kicks just for me.
  • People are pretty nice to pregnant women. Recently I was able to jump two spots ahead at the farmers’ market turkey line… on a Sunday. For those of you who don’t know the DeKalb Farmers’ Market, kindness like this in the meat department is not something to be taken lightly, especially on a weekend.

In conclusion, Pregnancy Body, I guess you and I are still on okay terms. I’ll take the good with the bad because really, we’re in the home stretch now anyway.

xo,
Me (and baby)

34 Weeks

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Here I am, smack in the middle of my 34th week, and look! there’s a picture of me in a public bathroom. Will selfies (bumpies?) ever not feel terribly awkward?

It’s fair to say that the second trimester energy has faded quite a bit and, while I’m still feeling pretty great, there is noticeable discomfort here and there and weekends equal sleeping 10 hours at night and napping after lunch. But hey – no complaints here – I know I’ve had it pretty easy so far. Also, the “It’s time!” dreams are occurring once a week or so and they are nothing short of bizarre. Let’s hope that when this goes down it’s not because a surgeon shows up at my house telling me that baby is getting too much oxygen in her eye sockets and requires an emergency c-section.

I came across a couple of fantastic blog posts this week that were all too relatable and I couldn’t help but share. The first, from Kate Baer – Essays for Motherhood: A Parenting Guide for the Millennial Mom, has made me laugh out loud more than once. I can’t stop reading it. This collection of potential chapter titles needs to be made into a real book and fast. Here are a few of my favorites:

  • Dressing Your Bumps: A Buyer’s Guide To Clothing A Large Mammal With Dignity
  • I’d Like To Be Naked, Wearing A Wide Brimmed Hat, Listening To Sufjan, And Immersed In Water: Finding A Birth Plan That Doesn’t Sound Like The Plot To A Psychological Thriller
  • Nobody’s Sleeping, Not Even The Dog: A Comprehensive Guide To Napping While Standing Up

The second post, from Happily Hughes – Why Postpartum Sucks, was as terrifying as it was appreciated. Oh, the things we have to look forward to around here. Fingers crossed that Pal and I will be so in love with our teeny one that we will quickly forget the hormone-filled, physically painful parts of postpartum life. And if not, well, we’ll all survive one way or another. 😉

That’s all there is to report for now. I suppose it’s time I found the energy to dust and vacuum my house. My motivation must be around here somewhere… maybe you’ve seen it?

P.S. – Jamie and Jeff’s birth plan and note to the babysitter may induce cry-laughing.

32 Weeks

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32 weeks is, “Are those my feet way down there?”

32 weeks is back to being full-body tired, but also waking up entirely agitated several times a night.

32 weeks is simultaneously wanting to nap and clean my house, but since I’m at work, all I can do is sit here and think about how dirty my floors are and how my fridge could use a good scrubbing. (Hi, nesting hormones! Nice to meet you.)

32 weeks is craving any food anyone has, mentions, or is viewed on Pinterest. (Is there a pregnancy filter available on Pinterest that removes all tempting foods? It’s a new kind of cruelty to see a picture of a cupcake and not be able to make that cupcake materialize.)

For your entertainment, the short list of foods I’ve craved since 10am:

  • watermelon
  • my coworker’s garlic potatoes
  • vanilla cupcake
  • fro-yo
  • another coworker’s turkey/cheese wrap thing
  • bread pudding

32 weeks is no longer being able to see my feet when I walk down stairs, so instead I stare off to the side of my belly to make sure I don’t wipeout.

32 weeks is watching a birthing video and not being terrified, but tearing up because it’s the most insane and beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

32 weeks is under two months to the main event. Woohoo!

 

Letters To My Baby: 001

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Dear Harper,

This weekend was a busy one spent getting ready for you. The nursery is looking pretty with its fresh coat of paint (Marshmallow Whip for the walls, and yes, the name swayed me considerably) and squeaky clean carpets – thanks to your Lala and Billy!

While your dad and Billy were working on the carpets, Lala and I went through all your new and new-to-us baby clothes. Laundry has never been this fun… or really fun at all. But, seeing all the teeny tiny outfits that you will soon get to wear (and spit up on), kept me grinning from ear to ear. You are going to be one stylish lady.

Even after our busy afternoon, your dad found the time to put your crib together! Seeing that sweet little crib in your room was the cherry on top of the entire day. It’s really starting to feel like your room now and I can’t wait to walk in there and see you in it. Your nursery has quickly become my favorite room in the house and watching it all come together is pretty magical.

We love you so much, little one. See you in 8 weeks (or so)!

xo,

Mama

An Update

We are under the ten-weeks-to-go mark (or so we’re told), and having the weeks in the single digits (plus some days) makes this feel all the more real and crazy and awesome and bonkers. For whatever reason my brain doesn’t always register the big things in life until they’re thisclose, so suffice it to say, I think I needed to reach this milestone in order to let myself kick it into high gear.

Lil Pal

All things baby are happening over here, even a little party for the teeny one this weekend. It’s beyond exciting and most of my thoughts go back to what life will be like once she’s in the world… and just how that day will go that ends with her being in our world/becoming our entire world.

All in all this pregnancy has been kind to me and I hope that trend continues for the next 9 weeks and 6 days (give or take). I feel pretty great, but am very slowly learning that I can’t do all that I did pre-pregnancy. Or rather, in order for my coworkers not to worry for my safety (or that I may never get back up), I should ask for help instead of crawling under my desk to mess with a loosely connected wire. It’s a time for growth – literally and figuratively – and I am somewhat opposed to change/stubborn as hell, but trying to be better.

I hope to bring more updates here soon, but pregnancy has melted my brain, so it’s possible I’ll forget.

It’s a…

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…and oh boy are we excited! (Hold on to your hats, this one might be a gusher.)

We found out last Thursday and I swear to you, it’s still all I can think about. I had no idea how nervous I would be going into the appointment, but I was a mess. The opportunity to get to know this person just a little better was, and still is, so incredibly exciting to me. Our ultrasound specialist saved the gender reveal for last, which made the rest of the appointment some kind of torture. And while I am grateful to check up on the rest of baby, I was slowly dying inside when the next thing she did wasn’t the big reveal.

But alas, now we know and we can call her by name. Thinking of baby as my daughter makes my heart beat a little faster and puts and instant smile on my face. I love to imagine what she’ll look like (please have your dad’s hair!) and wonder which traits she’ll inherit from each of us.

Baby girl is also kicking up a storm these days. Not powerful enough for Pal to feel yet, but I think we’ll be there soon. 🙂

Hey, Baby!

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You want to know what is hard? Taking a photo of le bebe bump, or at least a photo that makes baby look true to size… not too big, not too small. The Goldilocks of bump photos, if you will. So I tried, and truth be told, felt foolish the entire time.

But, onto other bump-y things. Pregnancy right now is fun. I have energy, I have learned to cope with much less brain power, I look pregnant (not just chubby), and am not yet to the point of being uncomfortable. We’re winning over here!

Other pregnancy updates:

  • Baby’s kicking! The tiniest, barely there somethings, but it is a very real something. Talk about falling in love all over again.
  • We are one week away from knowing whether our Baby G is a he or she. The suspense is torture!
  • We have names! Boy or girl, we are set.
  • My appetite tapered off there for a couple weeks, but second breakfast is back in full force. Also, everything I eat is “The best thing I ever ate”. It’s kind of nice because I never expect my level of satisfaction to surpass where we were at the previous meal, but alas, we do.

That’s all we have for now. Happy pre-Friday!

Our Greatest Adventure

BabyGrubbsTex and I are so, so excited to announce that we have a little Pal of our own on the way. It still feels surreal, but the bigger my bump gets, the easier it is to believe that this is actually happening.

I’ve been doing my best to enjoy my pregnancy, and so far, I feel like I have. Somehow I am one of the lucky few who avoided morning sickness and was able to skate by with some nausea that was usually cured with a snack. I was incredibly tired my first trimester, which was not surprising.

Now, at seventeen weeks, the nausea has subsided and I’m no longer napping on a daily basis (or feeling the need for an IV of orange Gatorade). I feel much more like myself these days, which makes trying to plan (or attempt to plan) for what lies ahead a little easier.

Also, being at seventeen weeks makes us that much closer to finding out if our little Baby G is boy or a girl! I honestly thought I would have a preference, but to tell the truth, I will be so in love either way. Just knowing that soon we will be able to find out whether it’s our or son or daughter that I’m carrying is seriously the most exciting feeling.

Our little Pal isn’t even here yet, but has already brought us both so much happiness.