Dear Pregnancy Body,
Please know, first and foremost, I am grateful for you. I’m grateful for your ability to carry and nourish and support this little one, all while knowing what she needs – even when I feel like I don’t. You’ve done a great job of keeping her safe, well-fed, and growing like a weed. So, thank you. However, there are a few things we need to discuss:
- What have you done with my calves? No, really, the bottom half of my legs can’t possibly belong to me. Truth be told,
somemost days I feel this way about the entire lower half of my body.
- Dressing you is becoming a chore. I am uninspired and a few of my maternity options have reached maximum capacity, but heaven help me if you think I am buying anything for you at this stage in the game.
- I have forgotten what it’s like to put on shoes in silence. Try as I might, I can no longer put on shoes that require tying or zipping without a grunt or an “Oh crap”. Birks with socks has crossed my mind more than once, but lucky for you all, I’m not there yet.
- Waking up in the middle of the night to change sleeping positions is one of my least favorite parts of pregnancy. There are now multiple pillows to rearrange and nothing is simple when you feel as large and graceful as a walrus.
- Online window shopping for non-maternity summer duds has become my new favorite form of torture. What will you look like a month or two postpartum, Pregnancy Body? I have no idea and part of me is not looking forward to finding out.
- The discomfort seems to hit all at once and lasts the entire day. Why bother spacing out the back pain, hip pain, and constant need to pee? Are you just trying to see what I’m made of? On the flip side, the days when I am actually comfortable do not go unnoticed, so I beg of you, do not take them away.
But please, Pregnancy Body, do not feel bad for what you’ve put me through. It’s considerably less than most and I figure I have to go through a little (labor not included) before I get handed my mom card.
Additionally, there are some upsides to this pregnancy business (other than the ultimate prize at the end of it all).
- There is currently little guilt associated with treating myself to ice cream (and pizza) on a more-frequent-than-normal basis. I do try to balance it out with lots of veggies and mixing chia seeds into anything that makes sense, I promise.
- I get lost watching her kick and shift around, and as much I try to share/document the more noticeable movements, it really seems like she is saving those crazy somersaults and karate kicks just for me.
- People are pretty nice to pregnant women. Recently I was able to jump two spots ahead at the farmers’ market turkey line… on a Sunday. For those of you who don’t know the DeKalb Farmers’ Market, kindness like this in the meat department is not something to be taken lightly, especially on a weekend.
In conclusion, Pregnancy Body, I guess you and I are still on okay terms. I’ll take the good with the bad because really, we’re in the home stretch now anyway.
Me (and baby)